


Sidetracked

by thirty2flavors



Category: Borderlands (Video Games), Tales from the Borderlands - Fandom
Genre: Comedy, F/M, Flirting, Fluff, Missing Scene, Pre-Relationship, mid-episode 5, rated for language and insinuation more than anything else
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-30
Updated: 2017-10-30
Packaged: 2019-01-26 12:27:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12557372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thirty2flavors/pseuds/thirty2flavors
Summary: Sasha waved a hand evasively. “Well, it was a… short but intimate job.”Rhys stared at her for a second, forehead wrinkled in confusion. Then his eyes widened.“Youfucked the tour guide?”





	Sidetracked

**Author's Note:**

> I've spent literal months mentally composing a very srs and emotional ep5 missing scene for Rhys and Sasha and... instead I have spit out this one first. 
> 
> ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> Anyway I love bisexual power couple Rhys and Sasha.

It wasn’t like Rhys had _never_ imagined what it might be like to have hundreds of adoring fans. Sure, some of his past idle daydreams might have involved some small element of the masses worshipping his every move, bowing, and erecting creepy statues. Whose hadn’t, really? Totally normal.

Still, even in his most far-fetched fantasies, he’d never imagined people might be doing it because he’d sort-of-accidentally wiped out an entire space station, killing countless former colleagues as collateral damage in his bid to stop a digital megalomaniac. 

That was definitely a complicating factor.

So when he first noticed the woman watching him and Sasha as they rummaged through bits of scrap for the caravan, Rhys did his best to ignore her. It was easier said than done; he’d only volunteered for this thankless task for a chance to spend some time with Sasha before they all probably died fighting a giant alien monster, and having another woman watch them so intently was really throwing off his game. Looking over the top of Sasha’s head, he eyed the woman curiously, hoping she’d take the hint.

“...in your left hand,” Sasha was saying. “Rhys? Hello?” 

“Oh.” He looked back down to find Sasha frowning impatiently, her palm outstretched. “Right.” He handed her the ball joint he was holding, and she tucked it into her pocket. “Sorry. I was just, um…”

“Uh-huh,” said Sasha, with a hand on her hip and a quirk of her lips. “Just try not to space out when we’re facing down the huge teleporting alien, all right?”

Rhys found himself grinning back. “Roger that.” 

“Think we’re almost done,” said Sasha, moving around him to grab another hunk of metal. “Then we can…”

But movement caught the corner of his eye, and he turned to see the woman watching them had abandoned her silent vigil and was walking their way. 

“Hi,” said the woman, before Rhys could respond.

He sighed.

“Look,” he began, hands held out, “this is—uh—flattering, I guess, really, super honoured, but I really don’t—”

“Oh,” said Sasha, sounding stunned as she straightened up next to him. “Hold this,” she said to Rhys absently, shoving the hunk of metal into his arms before she turned to the woman. “Wow. Hi… Louise, right?”

Rhys blinked at her. “Wait, what?”

“That’s right.” The woman—Louise—spared Rhys only the briefest of glances before she looked at Sasha and nodded, hands on her hips. “Sasha, wasn’t it? Unless…”

Sasha laughed, high-pitched and uncharacteristically nervous. “Yep! That’s, uh, that is actually my name. For real.” She cleared her throat. “Glad you made it off of Helios okay,” she said, brushing back her bangs. “I did wonder.”

“You too,” said Louise. “I mean, evacuation was a total shitshow, but—well, here we are, right?”

“Right,” Sasha agreed.

“ _What_?” Rhys asked of no one in particular. Neither woman reacted.

Sasha shifted her weight from hip to hip, looking Louise up and down. “So, are you settling into Pandora okay?”

“Oh, it’s a nightmare,” said Louise briskly, shrugging. “But so was Helios. Least there’s fresh air here.” She smiled, then pointed. “Your hair looks great, by the way.” 

Sasha reached for it automatically, fiddling to adjust her headband, her cheeks glowing. “Aw, thanks. Wanted a change, you know?” 

“Totally,” agreed Louise. 

She took a step forward, close enough that she was starting to infringe on the border of the bubble of personal space that Rhys was very conscious of around Sasha. Baffled, Rhys looked from Sasha, to Louise, and back again. 

“So you’re mixed up in all this Vault stuff, then,” Louise continued. “I thought that might be the case.” 

“Ha, yeah. It’s…” Sasha thought about it for a second. “...a long story.” 

“That’s an understatement,” Rhys muttered, rubbing the side of his face that was still tender from where Loader Bot had clobbered it. 

Louise inched closer; now she was _definitely_ in Sasha’s bubble. 

“I’ve got time,” she said smoothly. “I’d love to hear it. I’m very curious.”

Rhys’ eyebrows shot up on his forehead, and he wondered suddenly if he was imagining things. Sasha hesitated for a second, tongue on her teeth while she considered. 

“Oh, I, um, I'd love to but… I’m kind of busy,” she said after a second. She glanced briefly up at Rhys, then smiled at Louise. “But I’m sure Vaughn could fill you in.”

Louise retreated to a safe distance. “Right.” She sent Rhys a strange look before she nodded at Sasha. “Well, if your schedule opens up…”

“I know where to find you,” Sasha finished. “See you around?”

“Sure.” Louise waved as she started to walk away. “Good luck with your Vault monster.”

As Louise disappeared, Sasha turned back to the pile of scrap, but Rhys, still feeling like he’d only understood a third of what he’d just watched, stood staring after Louise.

“What… was that?” he asked after a moment, turning back to Sasha. “Who else do you know from Hyperion?”

Sasha straightened up, a large hunk of metal tucked under her arm. It was difficult to be certain, but Rhys thought she looked a little flushed. 

“Oh,” she said, unconvincingly casual, “that was the tour guide. You know? We stole her badge.” 

“You’re on a first-name basis with the tour guide?”

At that, Sasha waved a hand evasively. “Well, it was a… short but intimate job.”

Rhys stared at her for a second, forehead wrinkled in confusion. Then his eyes widened.

“You didn’t.”

With a fake air of innocence, Sasha shrugged.

“You _fucked the tour guide_?” he squeaked, far less dignified than he’d’ve liked, but—well—come _on_. “Seriously?” 

Sasha arched an eyebrow. “Is that a problem?” 

“Well… I… no,” he managed, feeling stupid and caught out as he stumbled to process it. He wondered if Fiona had intentionally excluded that detail, or if she was unaware of it herself. “But—I just—" He shook his head. "You mean while Fiona and I were risking our lives, you were _getting laid_?”

Sasha grinned in earnest now, any potential embarrassment totally superseded by amusement. “Hey, my job was to distract.” She lifted one shoulder. “I was distracting.” 

“Well, yeah, but—”

“ _Very_ distracting,” she added, with a tone of false modesty. 

Unsure what to say to that, Rhys simply gaped.

Her grin turned to a challenge. “Jealous?”

“No,” said Rhys, one of the least convincing lies he’d ever told. 

Sasha’s expression turned triumphant. “Well, there you are, then.”

“You didn’t…” He looked in the direction Louise had gone and cleared his throat, struggling to regain his footing. “You didn’t take her up on her offer.”

Watching him keenly, Sasha tilted her head. “Should I have?”

Rhys stared at her. Was that a trick question? 

“I... don’t know,” he sputtered. “Why would you ask me? I mean, did you want to? ‘Cause if you wanted to, then... ”

Flagging under her scrutiny, he let his voice trail off and shrugged, still feeling like his head was spinning. What was even happening right now? Were conversations always this difficult and he’d never noticed? How had they possibly wound up here?

For a long moment Sasha studied him intently, her eyes narrowed, her expression inscrutable. 

Then she laughed, and did something even more unexpected than sleep with a Hyperion tour guide in the middle of a con: she reached up and patted his cheek.

“You’re an idiot,” she said, in an odd voice that made it sound like a compliment. 

Rhys gulped.

All too quickly, Sasha pulled her hand away again. 

“Think I got everything I needed. Come on,” she said, chipper as she turned to head in the direction of the caravan. “Time to go save Gortys or die trying.” She winked over her shoulder. “Hopefully the first thing.”

Rhys stood in place, certain his face was bright red, still trying to make sense of everything that had just happened. He brushed his fingers over the spot where Sasha’s hand had been, then gave himself a shake and jogged after her. There’d be time to sort it all out later, after the Vault. Hopefully.

**Author's Note:**

> Based basically entirely on [this deleted dialogue](http://oodlyenough.tumblr.com/post/160322791603/hyperiontrashcan-tales-from-the-borderlands), as well as [another clip where Sasha's introductory remarks to Louise are to call her beautiful](http://oodlyenough.tumblr.com/post/168269790718/hyperiontrashcan-tales-from-the-borderlands). 
> 
> I'm pretty sure all the dialogue, deleted and otherwise, was just a gag -- something innocuous being presented as something sexual -- but the idea of her hooking up with Louise in the midst of everything else is hilarious 2 me, so here we are.
> 
> find me on tumblr: [oodlyenough](http://oodlyenough.tumblr.com/)


End file.
